Buddie and a Vacuum two different things but they accomplish the same goals

So many of you know that Our Dog has issues. I don't know if I have ever written my thoughts on the the dog. I love him but sometimes I could let him run free and not give it another thought. He eats things that I don't know what he is thinking. This dog does not chew shoes or the baseboards or anything like that but a nice cloth object it is gone. This dog has eaten finger puppets, dish rags, socks, paper bags, plastic bags, toys, balls, and most recent a pair of Parker's pants. And i don't mean that he eats these things by chewing them up into little pieces NO he eats them all whole. When we pick up his poop in the back yard everything is still the same as when it went down. The finger puppets, not a bite mark on them. The pants one entire leg came out in one piece. I cant believe that the dog is still living, we have never had to take him to the vet or get his stomach pumped or anything. I don't know why he does this. He is so sick for days after and they pass or he barfs it up. WHY??? WHY ???WHY???? WHY????? I just don't get it. Now I have laughed a few times when I have been outside and I see an object and didn't even know that it was missing, but why would I miss a toy car?? But the question is WHY WOULD HE EAT THAT??? This dogs is going on his 5th year of life and I wonder how many more he will have. I know one of these days he will eat something that wont be able to come out and I will not pay to have it removed. Call me mean but if he is stupid enough to keep doing this it would be money down the drain. SOOOOO here is to our dog. Parker and Devins best friend , the one they hug and tell him they love every morning. You make our life interesting, if things are missing we know what has happend, and you give us some good laughs over your stupid dog ways. I don't know what our life would be without you. (A lot less cleaning up of gross things for me) But not as interesting. WE LOVE YOU BUDDIE This blog is a love hate blog so if your confused about my feelings towards the dog so am I.